Good 'Ol Texas Wedding

Jenna Bush is the beautiful creature at the right of this picture. PEOPLE Magazine is running a new story that Jenna and her fiancé Henry Hager will marry in a ceremony on May 10 at the president's ranch in Crawford, Texas.

"It's going to be a small wedding," the source tells PEOPLE, adding that Jenna has already selected her bridesmaids. "She's very excited. They make a great couple."

The couple's engagement was announced in August. First Lady Laura Bush told PEOPLE in November that she "of course" fancied the idea of a White House wedding herself. It "would be a lot of fun," said Mrs. Bush. "But I also know it wouldn't be very private. And of course we want to do what Jenna wants to do."

Jenna is school teacher and an author - she is also all sorts of boring, but nothing too exciting has happened today. Brit Shit must be at home doing lines and eating cheetos. Doesn't she have red lights to run, children to neglect and gas stations to visit?

True Love

Only two weeks after a ceremonial wedding, Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have called it quits. Hollywood love is such a beautiful thing. His rep made this statement today:

"After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further. While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends."

This skank finally gathered her thoughts and realized she was making the biggest mistake of her life. Eddie Murphy will always be Norbit in my eyes and she was too hot to be sharing mattress with Norbit for the rest of her life. He apparently paid for all of their wedding guest to be flown out to Tahiti for the ceremony. Best financial decision of his life? You bet.

The Definition Of CLASS

Britney Spears, goddess of class, beauty and all things heavenly, was spotted out at Rite Aid with her paparazzi boyfriend picking out pregnancy tests. Her 'manager' and all around creep, Osama Lutfi told Access Hollywood that Britney was high off her ass and that he is using her for publicity...I kid, but you know he was thinking it. He told Access Hollywood that Brit Shit is not carrying Adnan's child.

Did anyone bother telling her that she can't smoke a pregnancy test? Bitch was at Rite Aid looking for shit that will get her ass high and you and I both know it. I'm not sure if elephant tranquilizer will have any effect on this piece of white trash after all the shit she has supposedly been on. Anyway, you know she loves the fucking attention. If I had a swarm of paparazzi following my every move I wouldn't be caught dead doing half the shit she does.

Desperate - Yes, Deaf - Not So Much

Foxy Brown is once again claiming that she has a serious condition with her ear and that she needs an early release from jail to get it taken care of immediately. She wrote to a judge:

I ask you to please take into consideration that my health is in jeopardy. Yes, I've made some bad choices and stupid mistakes. But please understand that sitting in a prison with murderers and criminals is not rehabilitating or what I need to deal with my inner issues."

Her lawyer said: "If her hearing is damaged any further, it will affect the way she hears and it will affect the way she sings. It will have dire consequences on her ability to maintain her profession and livelihood."

In 2006 Foxy had an electronic device implanted into her ear to prevent total hearing loss. Foxy claims she needs to travel to California to receive proper treatment. Bitch please. This hoe is full of excuses! Did you hear that? Full of excuses! This bitch needs to suck it up because she only has a few more months left in jail anyway.

Covering The Mug

I don't understand why Jessica Alba insist on covering her face in every single picture the paparazzi take; she's not very talented in the acting department so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she's basically famous now for being hot, bitch should just smile and be thankful anyone even wants to take pictures of her ass. Anyway, heres the Grinch leaving the gym today sporting a little baby bump. She called the LA Sheriffs department to make sure the paps didn't get too close to her. Tax dollars hard at work.

Britney, Take Notes.

Lily Rose, Depp's 7 year old daughter was hospitalized last year in London due to E. coli poisoning which caused her kidneys to fail. The Daily Mail is reporting:

Johnny Depp secretly visited Great Ormond Street Hospital yesterday to donate $2 million of his own money to thank staff for saving his daughter's life. He arrived unexpectedly at the London children's hospital where eight-year-old Lily-Rose was treated last year when her kidneys failed. Last week he invited five Great Ormond Street doctors and nurses to the party for the London premiere of his film Sweeney Todd. And on November 29, unknown to the public, Depp spent four hours at the hospital telling bedtime stories to patients dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow after having his Pirates Of The Caribbean costume flown over from Los Angeles."

That shit makes my heart melt - I like Johnny Depp; I always thought he was a little creepy but I think I'm going to let that slide for now. Britney Spears needs to be taking notes, she couldn't even drive down the street to attend a custody hearing for her kids.