Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Let's Go Shopping With Britney?



That's an old picture but I just wanted to take this moment to reflect on Britney's keen sense of style. If your retinas aren't burnt by now, you can continue reading. Life & Style Magazine put out a beautiful article today about Britney Spear's visit to the Betsey Johnson store this weekend with her new creepy paparazzi boyfriend Adnan. Basically, she went into the store, grabbed a buncha shit then went into a fitting room and came out naked - it went a little something like this:

A salesgirl said, "I was blown away. Britney's private parts were right in front of me! I grabbed a dress to cover her and she screamed, 'Get away from me! Don't you fucking come near me!' Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting."

"I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent. Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone. Then she muttered, 'Fuck you!' and left the store."


I have no choice but to believe this and almost every story that comes out about this hot mess. I can't keep up with all of these stories. You know she didn't tell the salesgirl that shit, those sentences were too well put together for her ass. You know it went something like "Yoo dun nid ta get yo hands away frum muh and git frum hurr"or some delicate phrasing like that. Bitch is crazy in the head.

Something's In The Water

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Something is in the water in Hollywood. Within the past 12 months I have honestly lost count of how many of these Hollywood hoes have gotten knocked up; Nicole Richie, Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba, Christina Aguilera, Salma Hayek, some other bitches and my favorite - Jamie Lynn Spears. Well today we can add another one to our list - Matthew McConaughey is expecting a baby with his Brazilian model girlfriend, Camilla Alves. Ladies, if you live in the Los Angeles/Hollywood area please keep your legs closed. That being said, this should be an interesting looking celebuspawn.

If You Care


I am probably the only person in America who is watching this shit, but American Idol premiered tonight - these first episodes are always the best because they like to entertain us with these fucking weirdos and show us like two seconds of actual talent; which is OK by me because this shit brings me to my happy place! My favorite was this skank named Temptress Brown who claimed to support her mom and shit; they tried to make viewers feel bad for her and shit but I have a heart of coal and that touchy music did not phase me! This bitch is a middle linebacker at her high school! What the fuck?! High school?! Brownie does not look a day over 45 - Ha! This season has horrible written all over it - I can't wait for Sanjaya 2008!

P.S. Ryan Seacrest is a hot bitch.