I am probably the only person in America who is watching this shit, but American Idol premiered tonight - these first episodes are always the best because they like to entertain us with these fucking weirdos and show us like two seconds of actual talent; which is OK by me because this shit brings me to my happy place! My favorite was this skank named Temptress Brown who claimed to support her mom and shit; they tried to make viewers feel bad for her and shit but I have a heart of coal and that touchy music did not phase me! This bitch is a middle linebacker at her high school! What the fuck?! High school?! Brownie does not look a day over 45 - Ha! This season has horrible written all over it - I can't wait for Sanjaya 2008!
P.S. Ryan Seacrest is a hot bitch.
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